Candie's Story

Theresa and Amanda are Candie's daughters.

The length of their lives may depend on

how quickly Candie can learn the medical

history of her birth family!

I am writing you to tell you about my problems regarding my adoption. I am a 33 year old Mother of 3 beautiful daughters. Amanda is my oldest child at the ripe old age of 12. Since Amanda was 7 years old her life has been a living medical hell. One day Amanda was going to the bathroom and to our surprise she had blood in her stool, she was always complaining about a stomach ache and would have to crawl up on the couch in a fetal position just to get some sort of relief. As any mother would do I took her to our local doctor who sensed that something was not right and he sent us to Westchester Medical Center to see a Dr. that is specializes in Gastro-Intestinal problems for pediatric. One of the very first questions the doctor asked me was about my genetic back ground. As you know being adopted we are not entitled to this TOP SECRET information so he felt that it would be better to be safe then sorry so he suggested that we get several blood test and after the results suggested a colonoscopy.

The preparation for a colonoscopy is for a child to be NPO (nothing by mouth) for a total of three days! Amanda had her first SEVERAL colonoscopy the very next week. On the way to the hospital I reassured my daughter that she would not feel anything and that this is something to try and make her feel better! Heck! Baseball play-off where not far off and she wanted to play with her team! They where in First Place and she wasn't going to miss this for the world! When we got to the hospital Amanda was taken to pre-op to get her prepared for the next step. Once again I reassured her that she would not feel anything and would be fast asleep. We started to joke that the doctor looked like Poppa Smurf! Well to make a very very long story short I heard my daughter SCREAMING FROM THE WAITING ROOM! She had an adverse reaction to the Vercet and Demeral. Within 15 minutes a nurse came rushing out telling me that the doctor wanted me S.T.A.T. I really thought that something was wrong so I ran to the Endoscopy room. The Dr. requested that I then hold down my child so he can finish the procedure. I had a VERY BIG PROBLEM with this for fear that she would remember. the Dr. reassured me that she couldn't remember due to the Vercet. I had to hold my daughter down while the Dr. tried to finish. Well, Amanda remember EVERYTHING FROM THAT PAINFUL EXPERIENCE! EVERYTHING! How she was punching me, telling me that she hated me and that all of this is my fault and most of all she remembers the pain.

This is just one of SEVERAL procedures that Amanda has had to endure. One that could have distroyed all of her eggs so she may never be able to have children. The saddest part of this story is that the doctor still does not have a firm DX for her condition. All they do know is that it is genetic and that she could develop a cancer in early adulthood. The Doctor felt that it was so important that I have my medical information he wrote a letter to Sullivan County Court to help me get my medical information due to the fact that Sullivan County Department of Social Services LOST ALL THE PAPER WORK REGARDING MY BIRTH FAMILY! The only answer that I have gotten from Judith Meyer Commissioner of Sullivan County D.S.S was that "OH WELL I'M SURE THAT THE FILE DID NOT CONTAIN ANY MEDICAL INFO." You know they were not so good about record keeping back then. She lied to our local paper when they did a story on my adoption stated that they did have my file but leaving out the fact that all the info regard my birth family was missing. Well I guess that it was a half truth! (You know they do not want to look bad in the public!)

I thought that the next step would be going to Sullivan County Family Court to get my Non-id info from them. As you know we are entitled to this under law, or so I thought. The woman that I spoke with told me that she is the person that does all the adoption requests and that she would get back to me. In a letter that I received a month later she told me that I have to register with the NYS Adoption Registry to get any information and I told her that I have already done so and all I want is what I can have by law! She told me that she would be in contempt of court and that she would not release the non-id info to me! How could she be in contempt of court if I am entitled to this under law??????? She then told me that I should hire a lawyer to petition the court to have my adoption records opened for medical reasons then she also stated, very proudly I might add, that NO ONE HAS EVER HAD THERE ADOPTION RECORDS OPEN IN SULLIVAN COUNTY! I did call several lawyers in my area and I was told that I need at least a 10,000.00 retainer fee! I can not afford this! I just want what is mine by law MY NON-ID INFO!

If this could not get any worse two weeks ago my daughter Theresa who is the sweetest 4 year old was complaining about a stomach ache. I thought that it was just a virus and that it would pass. the next day she went to the bathroom and you guessed it.....THE TOILET WAS FULL OF BLOOD! I know what Amanda has gone through so I didn't want to over react. I waited to see if it would happen again. The next night she vomited and it was coffee grounds..... Not really thinking (denial is a horrible thing) I cleaned her up and sang her to sleep. Two days after that she once again had blood in her stool and now the stool was black. Okay, you don't have to hit me in the face with a hammer. I called the Dr. and he wanted to see her this morning. I am at my wits end! As he was palpating her abdomen he found a mass. He then did a stool test and it was positive for blood. I was sitting in the office and I told him what happened to Amanda and that I had some problems as a child with my stomach and was operated on, for what I really do not know, due to the fact that both my adoptive parents have passed. He then asked my about my Mother and Father and if there was any abdominal problems in my genetic past. That is when I could not hold my tears back. I told him as I sat there sobbing that I was adopted and that I could not help him with that information. You could see the pity in his eyes. I have protected my children from everything that I could. I, like any mother, would give my life for my child. But being adopted I may not be able to save her. I could not give the doctors what they need. Not because I am not willing, not because I don't care but because it is the LAW! I will not be able to protect my daughter from the painful test that she will have to go through because I do not have the answers.

In the Emergency Room that I worked in I have saved so many lives but my daughters life might slip away from me because I do not know my genetic back ground. What is the justice in this? Who is this going to help when I could have an answer that all people in this world are entitled to except adoptees. This is no longer about myself. This is about our children. THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW,THEY HAVE THE RIGHT NOT TO SUFFER. On Thursday I will be bring Theresa to the hospital just like I did for my oldest child Amanda, only this time I know that she will be in pain. I know this time that not too long from now getting needles and I.V will not make her cry because she is use to it and I know this time there is no hope to get the Drs. the information that they need...... I KNOW ITS THE LAW!!!!!!!!

Please please give this letter to someone that doesn't want another child to suffer or another doctor not to have answers for a Mother that so desperately want to help cure her children . PLEASE GIVE THIS TO SOMEONE WILLING TO STAND UP AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE AND THE GUTS TO FOLLOW THOUGH. This fight is not for me but for my children whom I love more then life itself. Thank you.

Back to Sylvia's NY Adoption Page

Last updated on 09/05/2008 02:47 AM